Dating culture in korea
When he looks absolutely horrified to see you come through the door carrying a heavy box and knocks over his chair jumping out of it to rush over and take it from you. And they ride over into the emotional side of things, as well. As much as it may mean that so many other things are assumed in the process, as well.
Where your Western male companions are more likely to accept your masculine presentation when times get hard, throw a slap on your back, tell you to buck up and buy you a beer, a Korean man is more likely just to see a girl who's having a hard time.
I like that they'll get really excited when the food comes, because it's pretty, and want to take a picture.
I also like the fact that they'll turn right around and challenge their friend to an arm wrestling match right there at the table to see who is top dog.
I like that it comes almost pre-built in the Korean mindset, thanks to the culture. Which really got on my last nerve in my first few months here.
But, when it comes to those more tender moments in life, sometimes it's nice to have the external persona overlooked.
In Korean culture, preserving the group harmony comes before all else -- even, in some cases, common sense or rationality.
They are fantastic at keeping the conversation going, making you laugh, even pulling out magic tricks when there's a lull just to keep you entertained. But style, while not being something I'll count a guy out for not having, will move a guy up a few notches if he does happen to pay attention to it. What that style actually is rarely matters, so long as it's something. And Korean guys have this one head and shoulders above Western guys, just as Korean women far surpass their Western counterparts in this realm. A person's external presentation has fuck all to do with who they are, and the qualities that really matter, in the end.
But I appreciate a well-dressed man with a nice haircut as much as the next girl. I don't like that a grown ass man has a curfew and has to scurry home before a certain hour or else face his mother's wrath. At the end of the day, the most important thing to me is my family. When I see a man put aside his own desires in order to take care of his family, I feel like I am really looking at A Man.
And you can't swing a stick on the sidewalk in this city without hitting at least ten of them. He knows what it is to value someone else's needs over his wants, and to take other people into account.
I have a feeling quite a few people will be quite surprised to hear some of this coming out of me. I've spent far, far too much time around second language speakers to have even an ounce of condescension toward it left in me. They're doing something that I have never been able to do, something I desperately want to be able to do in Korean. And the truth is, there's nothing I find sexier than a man I have to admit is, in any way, smarter than I am.
But I'm going to do my best to lay that aside, and be really honest. Of course, this isn't a part of Korean dating culture, but it definitely plays a role in inter/// dating. What these particular types don't like to face is that a lot of us women are so fucking relieved to get outside of the stereotypes.