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He’s been a great friend, and I know he’s a very kind person.We all have our issues and cope with life differently.There’s always something better.” “If you had a reservation somewhere and then a table at Per Se opened up, you’d want to go there,” Alex offers.“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. ” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling.You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. Crew; senior at Parsons; junior at Pace; works in finance …Well, she and I ended up talking about this Forty Days of Dating project the entire time. She asked us straight away if Tim and I were attracted to each other. He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week! Love is not a matter of the heart, it’s all in our brain. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first. Jocelyn hit us with a TON of questions that I’m not sure either of us were prepared to talk about so quickly with her: 1. It was cute that Tim insisted on being a gentleman and walking me home after the play. How much does it suck to see someone read your text and then they don’t write back? However, Jessie and I have something planned on Sunday, so it was probably best to do a date tonight instead of Saturday night. The things you learn about someone that you think you know. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? Tonight was the first time things felt date-y and I felt okay about it.This is something we’ve never discussed, although we have been flirtatious with each other in the past. Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love. When I have a crazy day at work, I often forget to check my cell phone. Anyway, we went to the Off-Broadway play, Did anything interesting happen? Jessie told me some very personal stuff that’s happened in her life. Apparently she doesn’t check her texts much, which I somehow did not know. The intimate talk and the crisp spring air made our walk home feel a bit romantic. Well I certainly won’t text her if I need to get a hold of her. I think Jessie caught me looking at the Knicks score on my phone during the play.

Her friends smirk, not looking up.“Tinder sucks,” they say. At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers.

It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”He says that he himself has slept with five different women he met on Tinder—“Tinderellas,” the guys call them—in the last eight days. ”“We don’t know what the girls are like,” Marty says.“And they don’t know us,” says Alex.

Dan and Marty, also Alex’s roommates in a shiny high-rise apartment building near Wall Street, can vouch for that. “She works at—” He says the name of a high-end art auction house. And yet a lack of an intimate knowledge of his potential sex partners never presents him with an obstacle to physical intimacy, Alex says.

Sometimes I think the “normal” people are just people you don’t know well enough yet. We talked about relationships with parents, and how many girls have some “daddy issues.” I don’t have dad issues. My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I spent five years seeing a therapist, so this isn’t strange to me.

I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out. Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too.

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